someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
