Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
