Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You just made me feel so damn special
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
