am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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