I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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