break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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