I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
