We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
