Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
