Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
