Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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