i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
