OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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