we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
