He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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