I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
