Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Apparently you make a good broom.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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