Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
do herpes really smell.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
