ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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