Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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