I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
