I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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