I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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