thus making me awesome and them whores
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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