My girlfriend figured out who you are.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
