ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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