they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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