We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
