i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
