So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
