they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
