You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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