Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
