I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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