You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Randomize
