So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
someone owes me an orgasm
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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