oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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