you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize