So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
