There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
