Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
