If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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