You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
