Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
where does the pee come out of this thing
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
