Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
