Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
