hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
