u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
