do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
