ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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