there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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