Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
