I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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