Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
