And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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