All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
