we have pet lesbian snakes
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
