is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
