...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
