i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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