Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he had hair everywhere except his balls
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize