Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We're too hungover to prance.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
