Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
