How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just cropdusted the office
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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