do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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