So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
