Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you will always have a special place in my vag
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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